Monday, February 4, 2013

Monday Ramblings


 Have you ever had one of those days where you just eat WAY too much? Well,  today was my day. I feel so gross.  I think I'm still full from lunch. My hubby made pasta with garlic and butter. He made a ton….guys tend to do that…I tend to do that. Well, we were sitting on the couch eating and talking about our plans for the future. It was kind of a depressing conversation,  and I just kept eating and eating, and eating. Now I regret it because I feel so bloated and gross.  I drank some apple cider vinegar and honey which helped but then I ate dinner.

 *Smh* I'm not even going to tell you what I had for dinner…I didn't even record today's eating habits in my food journal because I am ashamed. Actually, now that I think about it, that is all the more reason to record it.  I normally don't eat crappy, but today's conversations and realizations made me resort to comfort eating. Not good.

 MY husband has been laid off since May 2012. At first we weren't worried about it but now, it's really coming down the wire.  Unemployment is not going to last forever. Moneywise we're okay but even that isn't going to last forever either. As much as I hate living in an apartment, I am so grateful that we didn't buy a house when we could have. We would be totally screwed. We don't pay much for rent, so we are very lucky there too…but that isn't going to last long either.  We were supposed to be out last year because they wanted to make it a one family due to not enough room for them. Which were totally fine with because were looking into buying our own place. I was getting a decent amount of hours, and my husband was finally making a livable (for us, we're cheap, lol.) wage. Then the inevitable happened. We are grateful that they let us stay (Family owned apartments) Now they have decided to put the house on the market in April.

Now it's February 2013 and my husband is applying to everything under the sun but has encounter a problem; being overqualified and making too much money. I'm sorry but $40,000 a year is not a lot of money in my opinion  and he was a retail warehouse manager. He's not a "professional" with a fancy schmancy job. He used to work for the same company as me but there was a better opportunity  at a family business so he went there. On his 5 year anniversary he was laid off. They won't say this, they don't have to, but a family friend needed a job so my husband got the boot (My husband trained him….). He's not even mad about that. He's not even mad.  If we were in the same situation, sadly, we would probably do the same thing, it's human nature.

He's not even mad about getting laid off, he was already thinking about looking for advancement so getting laid off wasn't necessarily a bad thing in the beginning. He (We) thought it was going to be easy since he didn't work a fancy schmancy job, just an Average Joe,  but with warehouse work, he's finding that most warehouse  positions start off at minimum wage (he's applying to those too) and warehouse manager positions start off at way below what he was getting paid, and even though he's assured the few companies he interviewed with that he's willing to take a pay cut (pathetic but you do what you have to..) nothing has panned out. It's very frustrating. Another thing that he thinks hurts him is his age. He's 41 (don't judge, yes, he's 13 years older, but looks  young, lucky man!)  but in phenomenal shape and into health, something you think they would want in a warehouse but you can't see that on a resume. 

The woman at the unemployment office suggested he talk with career counselor about a career change because they would help with payment and warehouse isn't a very prominent "career" around here. He's going to do that, but he doesn't even know what he wants to do. He's been working in a warehouse for 20 years and likes it because he's good at it. He's not a handyman by any stretch of the imagination (I'm the handyman of the house.) so he doesn't even know which trade he would do.  The only other thing he wanted to do in his life was to train to be a boxer or ultimate fighter. Unfortunately his parents were not the most supportive, called him names, said it was stupid, the whole nine yards but when he was older he got into it and discovered he actually had talent and could have probably made something of himself but it was too late. Boxing and fighting is a young mans sport. Now, he feels stuck and is thinking more and more about regrets and not doing what he truly felt in his heart to do, all because he was discouraged.

I definitely feel his pain because I was in a similar situation. The thing with my passion,  is that it can be pursued at any age and I'm working on that now. It's hard not to think about the past but we have vowed to never ever discourage our son from doing what he wants to do. Even if it's the most ridiculous thing on the planet, we will encourage him to try because you just never know. He needs to try and discover things on his own and learn from those mistakes and successes.  He's only 6  but has loved music since the day he was born. Since he could talk when you would ask him what he wants to be when he grows up, his answer is always that he wants to be a singer and sing on stage, recently he's added " a rock star,  just like Justin Beiber"…lol. That’s not an easy life but we will do everything in our power to encourage and help him to work towards that goal or any other goal he wants because we don't want him living the same regrets that we have.

Tomorrow is a new day and we're still trying to remain as positive as possible through it all because what the heck is getting depressed about it going to do? Absolutely nothing. It's hard some days but eventually things have to work out.   I do believe that things happen for a reason and we don't always know that reason until much later or sometimes never,   but I know that something better is on the horizon. I can feel it.  One can only hope right?

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