Mondays. Aren't they great?!? Can you sense my sarcasm? Ha! I'm not being sarcastic *wink* or maybe I am. I guess you all will never know.
In all seriousness though, I am being sarcastic. Mondays stink. Royally. But that's okay. Tomorrow won't be Monday. It will be a new day. New is good. Because it gives us the opportunity to learn from our past (even if it was just yesterday!) and grow from there.
I've certainly done a lot of growing lately. I wish I was one of those people that had life figured out sooner because I know I am capable of doing great things. I'm a smart girl. Not a genius by any means, but I have more potential than I have put forward this far. I've doubted myself in the past and became discouraged and in the end, I ended up settling for less than what I know I deserve in all aspects of my life. Of course I have my reasons as to why I became discouraged, but I have learned that making excuse after excuse and feeling sorry for myself isn't going to get me very far. And it hasn't. I have strayed so far away from my original goals that it is pathetic. I've had a lot of things happen lately that have opened my eyes to a lot of points in my life and I'm ready for a change. I'm ready to get back on track and start pursuing my original goals.
I still have every intention of pursuing the goals I posted about in this layout here. The thing is I have ALWAYS wanted to go back to school. It is something that is important to me. Like blogging and incorporating graphic design in my life is in my bones, so isn't going to school. If I don't go back to school and get some sort of degree. I am going to regret it. I already do because it's something that I think about daily, and have thought about daily since having stop. I've even written on this blog slightly about it and my 'Spiral of Confusion', but I'm not going to link back to those. LOL. I may have deleted some of them.
In the past, I never knew how to stay focused but learning more about myself in the past few years, I've learned that I get bored easily and I need lots of hobbies and things to keep me occupied . Keeping busy and having lots of interests helps me stay focused. Being stagnant and not having much to do makes me depressed and bored.
I still want to work for myself. Even if it's just on a part time basis. But I also want to do other things too. Ha! You're probably reading though this, thinking I am a big confusing mess but that's okay. :) For a while I was there is absolutely no doubt about that. I had no idea. I wanted to do everything at one point. A lot of it had to do with me trying to please everyone, forgetting about myself and getting discouraged and forgetting about myself and what I wanted.
But now I have focus. I feel more ready and determined than I ever did in my life, because I know what I am capable of. I chose the two things that I am passionate about and I am going to focus on them. It's not going to be easy considering some other changes and things that are going on with my life, but it is going to be worth it. And now I just need to wait and see if I'm accepted into the school I applied for.....fingers crossed!