Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Ctrl+Z


I've really been enjoying digital scrapbooking. It's more forgiving. Ctrl+Z and your mistake is gone. If only that worked in real life, huh? That'd be awesome. I know a few moments in life that I would like to  Ctrl+Z. Actually, I know of a lot of moments that I'd like to Ctrl+Z but I can't, so the next best thing to do is use it as a lesson.

I feel so different since this epiphany. I know I keep talking about it, but I really do. I feel like a completely different person. In such a short time too. I'm not completely changed, but my attitude has completely turned around. I smile for real now. Not just to fake being happy at work or in public. I ACTUALLY am happy; something I don't think I've been for a long time. Running helps.  I am so glad I started.

The other day I didn't want to run but since this is only my second week I went anyway. The first bit was a bit rough, then I just kept going and going. I ran the longest I had run before without stopping for a walking break. It felt great. Todays run on the other hand was crappy, mainly due to the pants I was wearing….Yeah, when running make sure your pants fit so you're not pulling them up every two seconds. Oh well! Now I know.

So many things are happening. It's kind of crazy. I still am waiting for the doom to pop up on me, because that's what I have been used to the last however many years. I don't think anything too horrible  is up to bat any time soon…but there is still a little bit of skepticism. Not enough for me to stop doing what I'm doing though. I'm just going to enjoy everything. Honestly though, I think I've had enough crappy stuff happen over the last 10 years, that I'm not due for a while at least.

Okay, so now for the layout. 





This isn't my favorite but it documents the short version of why I want to go back to school. School is one of the moments I'd like to Ctrl+Z. I'd love to be able to go back to my Senior year of high school, not let the drama and insecurities affect me. I'd love to go back and put my heart and soul into my school work because I know I was much more capable of getting C's and D's. Getting an A in college algebra, my first year of college was proof that a little bit of effort goes a long way.  I'd love to go back and put the effort in and get good grades and have the whole college experience, rather than have my only option be a community college. (was my only option for a few reasons, not even just academically)  I'll stop now, because I'd essentially change my entire path. Had I done that though, I probably wouldn't be in the same place I am now. My experiences made me grateful and appreciate a lot things that most people take for granted.

One thing I wouldn't Ctrl+Z is making one more attempt to get the person that wasn't speaking to me (the straw that broke the camels back, remember?) to at least hear what I had to say about this whole experience. It worked. Granted it was only via text, but I didn't like the way we had left things off and being the person that I am, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I had to try one more time before I accepted things for how they were.. I can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.  It's only been a short time, but if this person were to see me today, they would be surprised at the changes I have made.   As I said, it's so strange but I feel like a completely different person.

2 comments:

  1. I never knew about control z!! But then again, I don't know anything about digital. Lol!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Awesome mist spray and splatter! Keep going forward!

    ReplyDelete

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