Have you ever had that feeling where you just know something is right? Today I felt that. I knew it all along with my applying to this school, but actually going to class today I knew for sure that this is where I belong and this is exactly what I am supposed to be doing.
After tonight's class I will be investing in coffee stock. 10 books to read this semester, one needs to be finished for next class, 4 page draft due in 3 weeks for 1 of my two 7 page minimum papers that I have to write. Many Many Many handouts to read to prepare for next weeks class discussion...I don't feel overwhelmed (yet) I feel excited actually (for now). because I wanted a challenge. I'm ready for it. (I think). And all this is just for my Literature and Human Rights class. You don't even want to see my syllabus for my macroeconomics class.
When the professor was going over the syllabus, you'd think seeing 10 required texts for the semester and a 4 page draft of a 7 page minimum paper due in 3 weeks would overwhelm anyone. It didn't. So far I don't feel overwhelmed. This is what I wanted. I'm not knocking community colleges but for me personally, when I attended community college I didn't feel challenged. For me, it was an easy A. I never felt like I belonged there. I went there because I HAD to. It was my only option considering my situation at the time. And I just kind of stayed stuck there. I think part of my spiral of confusion happened because I didn't feel that it was the right place for ME to be. I just stayed there for so long going in circles because I didn't have the confidence to do anything else. I was just kind of stuck. Stuck in a bad place. Here thought, the minute I walked in to the lecture room and the professor started the class, I KNEW this was the right choice.
Now tomorrow will be spent buying those 10 books, picking up coffee in bulk :) investing in a good planner because I am bound to forget something if I don't write all this down, buying a bigger 3 ring binder - the 1 inch one I bought is not going to cut it - it's already full with handouts and 4 pages of notes -, and starting work on my macroeconomic class.
It's certainly not going to be easy but I know this is what I have to do. This is what I am supposed to do. This is where I am supposed to be. I am so thankful and grateful for the experiences I have been through recently because they've opened my eyes to so many points that needed fixing. Things will only get better from here. I know that.