With all this self reflection and learning how not suppress my true self and be comfortable regardless of others opinions, here are some things I've discovered and re revealed about myself.
I am sensitive:
I've always known this. For so long I've been made to believe that the way I am is wrong, but it's not. I'm not sensitive in the sense that I am overly emotional - but more in the sense that I feel a lot of feelings. I read signals - I feel what they feel. I love to talk about feelings, or just help people feel better. I love having conversations about nothing. I listen to a song and I can feel the emotion and related it something in my life or someone's life…the list goes on.
I could spend every minute of the day shopping for clothes and putting outfits together. I think I have a good sense of style and I know how to dress to dress in a way that flatters my body. Tj Maxx is my go to store. I don't think there is ever a time I've gone in there and haven't found something I've fallen in love with.
I'm 5'7 - So for a girl I am considered tall but I will rock a pair of 3-5 inch heels. LOVE LOVE LOVE them. I will wear them with a dress or a pair a jeans. It doesn't matter. I will always find an excuse to wear a pair of heels.
I don't push myself:
This one it tough to admit - and goes along with my post the other day. I'm just learning. It's not that I get scared to step out of my comfort zone. Failure is something I am not afraid of -Being successful at something is. Ive always felt that I've never deserved to have the same kind of life that most people strive for. I'm working on changing my mindset out of the thought that I don't have to struggle the rest of my life. I can thrive and I am worth anything that I work towards.
I think I am a city girl. Well I live in a really really really small town. If I am a city girl, why am I living in the middle of nowhere? Well, it's affordable…that’s really only the reason and I'm just kind of 'stuck' at the moment. So, let me tell you why I think I am city girl.
It doesn't matter the city, whenever I drive or walk in a major city, my cheeks get numb and I get this tingly warm feeling all over my body. I had this feeling when I went to NYC for the first time and that was when I made it a goal to move there one day. With all the confusion in my life, I sort of just gave up/forgot about it but was reminded with the tingles every time I would have to go into a city for anything. Most recently, I took Jacob to a museum that was in the heart of a city about an hour away. We ended up having to park a few blocks away so I was able to appreciate the liveliness and the beauty of the surroundings and again - numb cheeks, tingles and smiles.
I strongly dislike clutter. And 'stuff' it makes me cringe. Having too much stuff actually stresses me out. When John moved out I did a lot of overhauling. I got rid of an entire storage unit of 'stuff' that I was hanging on to for no other reason than to just keep. I even went through my apartment and got rid of unnecessary 'stuff' too. I bought some new furniture too that reflects my style too - very simple. Clean lines. Minimal. However....
I am a sucker for Technology:
I love my iphone and will probably be upgrading to the iphone 6 very soon. I have a list of all these other things that are on my wishlist. Not only do I like the technology 'stuff' I absolutely am fascinated at how a handful of words and sequences of codes are put together to form what we see on the screen..which brings me to...
I love to write. I love to read and I love to learn. I don't care what the topic is, if it's something that sparks my brain, I will read about it, write about it and learn about it.
So that is me in a nutshell.